Well, I am sitting on my back porch letting Cash play with his play doh set I got him for Valentine's Day. Our dog Daphne is running around, dishes are going in the washer (sink still half full with more, I have not started my week off right with my flying lessons www.flylady.net) I can hear a load of darks swirling in the shop and still have not mastered the art of putting the clean clothes up. I will fold all day long, I have to fold them. I won't leave clean clothes in a pile, but putting them up still seems to be a mountain I have not climbed! HA! As I sit here I can't shake the feeling that I should be up doing something. Why do I always feel like I need to be doing something? I feel like my life never stops. I am trying to learn that I can't stop life, but I sure can slow it down. The reason those dishes are piled in the sink is because after dinner last night Cash fell asleep in my arms on the couch. I literally had one million things to do and the normal me would of put Cash to bed or laid him on the floor or couch to finish his little nap, but for some reason I didn't. I stayed on that couch holding him and watching TV for an hour. I think holding my nephew this week has made me remember that I used to hold this little boy and life still went on. The house still got cleaned and dinner still got made but I held Cash all the time. It felt good to be that mommy again that had a boy that needed her and chose her chest as the place to fall asleep. When you get these moments you have to grab them, but as mothers I feel like we are the glue in the home, we still have to hold up our end of the deal, running a tight ship that our husbands and children can be proud of, so when you do let things go (like I have decided to do while I am in school) they appreciate you and are willing to help pick up the slack when you need them.
On another note (and you know my blogs are so random) my Monday felt very productive. I have decided that I have lots of time in my days that are just "dead time". I mean nothing productive gets done AT ALL! I want to work on changing that. SO, I did some things a bit differently. I am tired of my kids living in our car, we spend too much damn time in that car, or waiting around to get back in the car for the next thing we have to do. I got Cash completely dressed yesterday morning (trying to stay on our schedule and chore packs www.titus2.com which are going very well I must add) and we took Tay to school and then we went to Walmart and did our grocery shopping for the week (which I didn't do Friday). We had an hour and I had a list so it was not hard to do. It is SUCH a waste of my time when I go into a store just wandering around for two hours, come home with $200 worth of food and I can't make one complete meal. I then took Cash to school, came home, unloaded and would of normally went on to school. Well, I skipped and worked in our office until noon, cleaned out my car and then headed out for some errands that I needed to do Cash free. I went to Babies R Us and CVS, then I went to get my car detailed (it took 1.5 hours but I brought my lunch and a magazine so I actually enjoyed it) got to see my nephew for a minute as they stopped through the car wash so I could load them up with the goodies I bought for them! Then, I came on back to Crosby so I could wait for Cash to get out of speech. Well, I did my second thing of the day not wasting time (grocery shopping in that hour window between Cash and Taylor's drop off's was my first) and I drove past Cash's school to the bank to make the deposit Lance needed me to make, then back to wait to get Cash. I normally will sit in that parking lot at speech for an hour which is flipping stupid! Then I was able to pick up Cash, pick up Taylor and go home instead of dragging them to the bank.
I am asking God for strength this week in my ability to become more in control and organized with my time so I can enjoy the little things in life. Also, to let my kids be kids and play outside and be home. I won't let them out alone (we live in a crazy world) so I need to take control of my issues so I can sit outside and enjoy with them as well.