Thursday, June 18, 2009

What I will be!

(With Taylor away at camp I am feeling quite sappy! Thought I would repost this one from back in February)
What kind of mother will I be? I will be the kind that calls my children to say hello, not just to vent about a new problem. I will be their mother until the day I die, and even after I will be there with my heart watching over them. I will still be their mother when they are 18 years old and going off to college, trying to find themselves. I will be their mother on their college campus sitting in the lobby of their dorm waiting for that one glimpse of them as they quickly say "mom, you are here again? You were here visiting last weekend", and I say, "I am not here to be in your way, I am here to tell you I love you, here are your clean clothes, give me your dirty basket and I will be on my way". I will be the kind of mom that still sends them a card for every holiday with money or gift cards and a simple line, "You are my everything". I will still be their mother at 22 years old when they graduate from college and go out into the world. I will help them make their resumes, I will drive them anywhere they need to go. I will be there to iron their clothes and buy their first briefcase. I will wait patiently each week (day if I am so lucky) for their phone call about their new and exciting life as an adult. I will listen to their stories of parties and trips taken with friends and I will wait in the parking lot of their apartment when they return home from work and hand them their laundry and maybe a new set of pots and pans that I saw on sale. I will beg for five minutes of their time and in return I will ask for nothing. No thanks, no appreciation, just them, just their faces, just their time, just their voices. I will still be their mother when they call me in their mid to late twenties and tell me they have found the one. No man will ever be good enough for Taylor and no woman will ever love Cash the way I love him, but I will still be their mother and I will pray for my new son in law and daughter in law and pray that they are everything to my children and my children are everything to them. I will stand by and sadly watch as Cash's new wife and family plan his wedding and I will be the kind, soft, quiet mother in law that attends and tells my new daughter how beautiful the ceremony was and how lucky Cash is to have found her. I will fall in love with any woman that captures my son's heart and loves him the way I love his father. Now, for Taylor, I won't go there in too much detail because she and I have a relationship I can never put into words. I can't put into form or rhyme or reason because she is all that I ever wanted to be. She has captured my heart from day one and her wedding day will be one of the most important days of my life because you don't understand, I have already been praying for her husband. He is out there, and I pray that he is safe and strong. I pray his family nothing but good things and I pray his heart stays pure and whole for my Taylor. I will plan each and every detail of that day (as much as Taylor will allow) and I will also stand back and let it be the most amazing day of Taylor's life. She deserves a Godly man, and she will get him. I will be the mother of my late twenty something or early thirtysomething children that are about to give me the greatest gift of all, my grand children. I will spoil them just enough to keep their moms from not being mad at me, but their dads know I do it. I will never ask my children to drag those little ones out of their homes with toys and diaper bags, and bottles. I will drive to the ends of the earth to visit them wherever they are. I will never miss any event that I can physically attend, why would I? Why would I put neighbors, friends, hobbies, or pure laziness above seeing my grand children? Why would I miss this SECOND chance at being the parent I wasn't to my own children? I will sit back and let their momma's tell me all the directions when I pick them up for an overnight visit (if I am lucky enough to have the privilege) and I won't dare say "I know what to do, I've done this before". I will smile and tell their sweet mothers thank you and dart out the door to bring them home with me to hug and kiss on all weekend as I stay close enough to their mother's orders, but a little off so they know "grandma is cool". Will I wait until my children call and ask me to babysit? HECK NO! They will have to call and say "Momma, you don't have to give us a date night every week, we can keep the kids" and I will say "NO, you guys go, have fun, be young, I have 6 other nights this week I am alone, I can spend one night a week with my angels". I will be the type of mother that my son and daughter in laws know they can call for anything at all and I will hold my judgements for my talks with God. I will be the type of mother that surprises my grandchildren with a Dairy Queen trip after school just because I had an extra hour to give. I will be the type of grandparent that drops any plans made if my children "come a calling". I will be the type of mother that my children one day say, "my mom worked her tail off to give us everything we ever wanted and everything we never knew we wanted".


  1. julie- you're gonna make me cry! quite inspiring :)

  2. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed last night! I cried the entire time I typed it! HA!

  3. Dang you Julie! haha I cried from like the second sentence all the way to the end! That is SO incredibly touching and wonderful. Those babies are very blessed to have such a loving, caring, thoughtful and beautiful could only be so lucky to have you! ~Tina

  4. Julie,
    I loved reading this blog !! This is the kind of mother I think we all hope we are to our children !!! I really loved the way you put the feelings a mother has into words . Great job !!


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