Monday, July 21, 2014

Marriage...It's Not a Given.

I have not blogged in FOREVER and frankly I have a lot to say. So here we go. Let's start with marriage. I don't know why I chose that topic, but my hubby is on my mind this morning and we are just gonna talk about him. Shhh...Don't tell him!

I am 38 years old and have been with my husband since I was 18 years old, he was 19, and we have been married for 17 years this past Spring.  I can happily say we have NEVER broken up and I can also happily say this is the HARDEST thing ever! Spending your life with one person and their quirks is tough. For example, he can sleep till noon, I can't sleep past 7 most times. He can watch ESPN ALL DAY while in and out of napping, I want to watch House Hunters all day and see if they chose the house I would have chose.  He can stand outside in this Texas heat, for hours, cooking and watching football or listening to old country so loud that I can hear it in the house, while I want to stay inside listening to Justin Timberlake and redecorating something else for the millionth time. He can pop open a beer, or two, or three after mowing the lawn and say "it tastes like ice cream" and I want to drink a Starbucks refresher after HARD LABOR (Yes, I think mowing sucks). He sleeps in his socks, and that's just weird. He laughs at funny movies so loudly and turns blood red and I just want to die from embarrassment. His version of cooking family dinners, though always delicious, will consist of meat with no sides. I like to eat by 6 and he likes to eat whenever. His Saturday mornings (when I make him get up)  consist of going out in our shop and building something all day long while I want to hit Houston and shop and eat at some quaint little diner I found on the internet. He can rent a movie anytime that involves shooting something or blowing it up, while I want to go see an independent film that just came out at the theater about some long lost love. He can wear jeans, work boots (he's not a shit kicker, so remember these are work boots) and a tshirt on the daily while I want to dress up and GO! The list can go on and on. He is the complete opposite of me in most cases.

But, and yes I began this sentence with but, I have always treated our marriage like what it is, a contract. We really did sign paperwork and took an oath before God, our family, and friends.  You don't do that with parenting or anything else, you do it with marriage.  See I HATE HATE HATE when women, or men, but I really hear women say, "My husband has to love me and the kids forever", or "Can you believe he cheated on me? Our family?" or "My husband and I are best friends. We will be together forever". I call BS! If your husband is your best friend you need to get out more. I used to be one of those women. I even blogged a few years ago that Lance is my best friend.  Women NEED other women to talk to and to talk about men! You can't load your husband down with all our women stuff. They don't want to hear it all.  Of course I tell my husband things, and we are very close to one another. I ADORE the man but he doesn't give a crap about the latest town gossip, the new curtains I want or how to move our family to all organic food.  Let your man be a man, not a girlfriend!

I will leave you with this.  My husband and I made some major changes the last few years and really the last 6 months. We started treating each other like we were dating again. Treating each other with kindness, love, respect, and excitement at all times, not just some times! It is flipping working! We are acting like two teens these days and treating marriage like what it is, a constant battle for love.  Ladies remember, those kids are going to leave you one day and that man you are bitching about is going to be all you've got day in and day out! If he's not the one worth fighting for then....well, that's a whole other story.

I LOVE my man and he deserves my respect and attention, even if he wears socks to bed!

This is Me, Then.